


Never Learned "No"

by Choco_Mint



Category: No Fandom
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Mental Health Issues, Mommy Issues, Poetry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-14 00:47:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29410725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Choco_Mint/pseuds/Choco_Mint
Summary: Living with my mom was hell, let's take a glimpse at what that was like!
Kudos: 2





	Never Learned "No"

I never learned to say "no"  
my hand is gripped so tightly  
I'm not allowed to let go  
I can't say it politely  
because all my words are rude  
can't be neurodivergent  
I just have an "attitude"  
her demands are so urgent

and it echoes in my head  
"you gotta say yes I guess"  
in the center pools the dread  
I wanna feel less distress  
pull my bootstraps up again  
trying to hide that I've cried  
I wait for her to say when  
intensified override  
nothing is truly my own  
dare I assume it's my room?  
my life's a permanent loan  
wear a costume til I bloom

I was at a tender age  
my emotions were too much  
I was taught to disengage  
I'm a child I should just hush  
I'm getting really tired  
having no autonomy   
there's one thing I desired  
and it's to be freely me

**Author's Note:**

> I managed to escape my mother's grasp but unfortunately I haven't been able to escape the damage she has done. I still struggle with saying "no" to people and with my own autonomy. 
> 
> I have found that saying "no" has a lot of power and it's kind of exciting?!  
> Sometimes I'll say "no" to my roommate/bff just because I FREAKING CAN! Like, "no Brian, I will not be joining you for breakfast...(dramatic pause)... haha just kidding of course I will!"  
> thank you Brian putting up with my nonsense, it really does feel good c:
> 
> and THANK YOU for reading!! it means a lot to me


End file.
